Harry Vagina Changes Name to Harry Dick
(Fake News)
by HumorOnline.com Staff
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“I’ve been a Vagina my whole life,” said Harry Vagina, “and I just don’t want to be a Vagina any longer. I’m sure you can understand that!”
But Harry’s father, Victor Vagina, is angry at Harry for sullying the Vagina Name. “I’m damn proud to be a Vagina,” responded Victor. "It's an honor to be a Vagina, and Harry needs to realize that. I mean, who in the hell would not want to be a Vagina?"
But Harry has had enough. He is tired of being a Vagina and wants to change his name to something that he believes suits him much better -- Dick. So Harry Vagina wants to become Harry Dick.
Harry’s mom, Virginia Vagina, is also unhappy about Harry’s decision.
“Being a Vagina has many advantages,” proclaimed Virginia. “For example, the name ‘Vagina’ is easy to remember. I mean, nobody ever forgets my name. And men like to repeat my name over and over, and that makes me happy. It means that they like me!”
But Harry Vagina has at least one supporter in the family, and that is his brother, Victor Vagina, Junior.
“It’s bad enough being a Vagina, but being a junior Vagina is really irritating,” said Victor Vagina, Jr. “I’ll never be a complete Vagina, and that makes me mad. I just wish I was a full Vagina and not a junior Vagina. So I think if Harry wants to be a Dick instead of a Vagina that is okay with me.”
But Harry’s sister, Vicki Vagina, thinks Harry is making a big mistake.
“What in the hell is wrong with being a Vagina?” asked the incensed Vicki. “I am a Vagina; have always been a Vagina; and will always be a Vagina. Being a Vagina is way better than being a Dick. Harry just wants to be a Dick for some weird reason, but he better think long and hard before he becomes a Dick!”
“I have thought long and hard,” responded Harry. “Real long, and real hard, and so I remain firm – I am a Dick. Period.”
Well said, Dick.
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This material may not be reproduced in any form.
