Rodney Dangerfield's one-liners were some of the best in comedy history.
And Rodney had the delivery that always made them hilarious.
Here are some of his classics.
Enjoy!
My psychiatrist told me I was crazy and I said I want a second opinion. He said okay, you're ugly too.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met!
A girl phoned me the other day and said... Come on over, there's nobody home. I went over. Nobody was home.
I worked in a pet store and people would ask how big I would get.
I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.
I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.
I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection. My yo-yo, it never came back!
Last week my tie caught on fire. Some guy tried to put it out with an ax!
I looked up my family tree and found three dogs using it.
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
I knew a girl that was so ugly that... I bent down to pet her cat only to find that it was the hair on her legs.
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.
I told my wife the truth. I told her I was seeing a psychiatrist. Then she told me the truth: that she was seeing a psychiatrist, two plumbers, and a bartender.
I came from a real tough neighborhood. I put my hand in some cement and felt another hand.
I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.
