Redneck Driving Etiquette
Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires always has the right of way.
Never tow another car using only duct tape.
When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer.
Do not remove the seats from the car so that all your kids can fit in.
Redneck Personal Hygiene
Unlike clothes and shoes, a toothbrush should never be a hand-me-down item.
If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets.
While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
Redneck Entertaining in Your Home
A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
Do not allow the dog to eat at the table . . . no matter how good his manners are.
Redneck Dating (Outside the Family)
Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
Redneck Theater Etiquette
Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.
Redneck Wedding Etiquette
Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.
Its is not okay for the groom to bring a date to a wedding.
When dancing, never remove undergarments, no matter how hot it is.
A bridal veil made of window screen is not only cost effective but also a proven fly deterrent.
For the groom, at least rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbundand and a clean bowling shirt can create a natty appearance.
Though uncomfortable, say yes to socks and shoes for this special occasion.
Redneck Etiquette for All Occasions
Never take a beer to a job interview or ask if they press charges.
Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
Always say "Excuse me" after getting sick in someone else's car.
It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
Always provide an alibi to the police for family members.
